The Right Decision
by theatregeek001
Summary: Post-Doomsday. Rose was never sucked into the void and after a magical night with the Doctor she had to figure out how to keep going as if nothing has changed, but does she really have to? Ten/Rose.
1. Chapter 1

The Right Decision

Summary: Post-Doomsday. Rose was never sucked into the void and after a magical night with the Doctor she had to figure out how to keep going as if nothing has changed, but does she really have to? Ten/Rose.

Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who.

A/N: So, I thought I'd try something different. One chapter in Rose's POV, one chapter in the Doctors, and the rest in third person. I want to explore their feelings separately before combining them. This story will have 5 chapters. Thanks for reading! :)

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Rose

It's like clockwork. The way his hand always finds mine as we run from danger, the way his eyes make my heart melt with just a single glance, the way I thrive on the moments when we're about to die because that's when I feel the most alive. To say I love him is an understatement. No, I think if I was to describe my feelings for the man in the trench coat it would be something more along the lines of fully, completely, passionately, unethically loving him. I know I shouldn't, but that makes me love him even more. I know he doesn't feel the same, and that makes him all the more intriguing.

If you were to look at him, he would seem like your everyday guy. He's about six feet tall, messy brown hair that sends shivers down my spine, piercing hazel eyes. His smile lights up the room and he is full of so many quirks and tid-bits that just talking to him is an adventure. Of course, anyone who has traveled with him knows the real adventure isn't his obsession for jam or weird banana cravings, but what happens on the outside. Yes, the real adventures with the Doctor are the moments I was describing before. Moments so delicate and so intricate that one move could set off an entire frenzy in all universes, moments that truly stand to test the bonds of time.

I've been through many of these moments. "The Adventures of the Doctor and Rose" I like to call them in my head. I've met the Devil, I've had my face completely stolen from me, and I've been to a parallel universe. On top of that I've met my dead father, flown ten thousand feet in the air during a World War II air raid, and been to a planet with cat-people.

Last week, though, I went through the most dangerous adventure of all. It changed everything, and now there are moments of doubt, frustrations that I've never felt before, and a longing to be with the Doctor unlike anything in the past.

It wasn't bad the first night, after the Doctor and I came back to the TARDIS. We had just closed the void that sucked all the Cybermen who were trying to control the planet back from whence they came, but I had lost my grip on my lever and almost got sucked in myself. I guess I just got really lucky because the gap closed just as I began to fly toward it, and I landed with a thud on the cold ground. I had been knocked out from the blow and shock, and I guess the Doctor had carried me back to the TARDIS because I woke up in the sick bay. He was right by my side sleeping with his elbows on the bed. It looked really uncomfortable and I gently shook him awake.

That's when it first happened. It's been seven days and I still see the look he gave me every time I close my eyes. I've never seen the Doctor look so vulnerable, for lack of a better word. His eyes were glossy and even with his brilliant smile plastered on his face he looked broken. He was staring so intently at me and I remember I gave him one of those smiles where my tongue sticks out of my mouth to hide my anticipation. He just stared me down. And then I gulped.

"Hi," I said weakly. My body was hooked up to all sorts of wires and my head was throbbing but I didn't want to tell him that. He would only worry, and something told me he had been doing enough of that since the void closed. I didn't know how long I had been hooked up but I didn't ask either because the Doctor was still staring at me. A few tears began to leak out of his eyes and run down his cheeks and I reached up to wipe them away. At my touch the Doctor shivered and I began to get that overwhelming sensation of desire for him stir itself up inside of me. I pushed it back, as always, because I knew the Doctor was not into that sort of thing and I just brushed my thumb across his cheek, but the more I did so the hotter the Doctor began to feel. I tried to sit up, worried he might have a fever or something but the wires were still attached to me and I couldn't move very far. The Doctor stood up and walked to the monitor, checking what I assumed were my vitals before he turned back to me and gave me a wolfish grin. My groin began to pulse at the look. Oh, that was the look that got me every time. He walked over to me and gently removed all the wires from my skin, leaving behind circle shaped red blotches from where the sensors had been hooked up. The raw flesh hurt a little and I tenderly touched one of the spots when I felt the Doctor's hand on mine. I looked up and saw his eyes were dark. I didn't know what that meant and I bit my lip in response.

"Doctor, are you alright?" I asked him carefully. He didn't answer me; instead he kept his eyes glued to the raw marks on my skin and then broke his gaze to look in my eyes.

"Can you walk to your room or do you need me to carry you?" he asked innocently. I smiled at him and shook my head.

"I'm okay, I think, Doctor. Thank you." I responded. As I stood up, though, I began to feel shaky and my legs started to give out underneath me. The Doctor noticed and caught me right away, then whisked me up and carried me all the way to my room. He gently laid me down on the bed and I gave him another smile, reaching up my hand to hold his. He took it instantly and sat down on the edge of the bed. My skin still had terrible red marks all over it and in the dim light from the lamp they looked even darker and more painful. The Doctor's eyebrows mushed together in concern and he gently rubbed his thumb over the back of my hand.

"How are you?" he asked me. His eyes searched mine for any indication that I was unwell, and in truth I suppose I wasn't completely okay. It hadn't hit me yet, but there was a part of me that knew I was never going to see my family again. They had the void stuff on them and when the Doctor explained that the void had to be opened to get the Cybermen out, they had all crossed over into the parallel universe so that they would be safe. I had gone with them at first because the Doctor had tricked me, but I knew that he needed me, and I don't want anyone or anything as much as I want him, so I came back. He will probably never admit this, but I think the Doctor always needs someone, and I want that someone to be me as long as it can be.

I realized I hadn't answered his question and I broke the tension with a smile and then nodded my head.

"Fine, Doctor!" I said cheerily. He gave me another look of concern where his eyes were wide and swimming in emotions and I once again felt a fire in my groin. He placed his other hand on mine.

"Rose…" he whispered, "I'm so sorry."

I think that's when it really hit me. The loss of my family, I mean. The Doctor tells people he is 'so sorry' all the time, but it was strange hearing him say it to me. The sexual desire that was burning in me only grew stronger as I took in his pure concern, but it was masked by the pain I felt as realization stabbed my heart. My mum, my beautiful, strong willed, completely insane mother was in a completely different universe and I was never going to see her again. I felt the hot tears well up inside of me and before I knew it they were spilling over. I was creating my own Nile River there on my sheets as the tears continued to fall, but the Doctor knew just what to do. He didn't say a word, but he lied down on my bed next to me and scooped me up in his arms so I was lying on his chest. Both of his arms encompassed me and his hand began to move up and down my back in a very calming way. He kissed the top of my head and let me cry, drenching his nice dress shirt with my salty tears. He kept kissing my head and before I knew it he was moving the kisses farther down. One on my forehead, one on each of my eyes, seven kisses on each cheek to mop up my tears, and then it happened.

His eyes looked to mine for a moment and all the desire that had been building inside of me earlier came flooding back. His eyes looked hungry and that just drove me insane. I licked my lips slowly in response to the wonderful feelings he was giving me and that elicited a growl on his part, which made me throb in want and need. His lips found their way onto my skin again, this time exploring my neck. His tongue darted out and felt all the crevices that were there, tasting my skin and exploring its territory. I let out a moan and gripped his back as he circled his tongue in the spot between my collar bones. Next, he tenderly traced the outline of those same bones, nipping and sucking slightly at the skin that covered them. I inhaled sharply and felt myself grow wet at his actions, and my grip on his back became tighter. He wasn't anywhere near done. His hands began to explore my body, tracing themselves along my hips and causing me to grind up against him, where I felt his growing erection through his trousers. I let out a small gasp and he smiled against my skin before finding his way up my vest top. I began to grow impatient with him and unzipped the damn thing myself, throwing it on the ground. He stared at me for a moment in shock before looking at my almost naked chest and moaning. His lips found their way to the tops of my breasts and worked their magic, while I let out moans of pleasure and found my way into his hair. I tugged his tresses lightly which made him whimper and that told me to keep doing it. I pulled a little harder and he moaned loudly.

"Rose…" he said and I felt my hips buckle at the sound. He gave up kissing my breasts and went straight for my bra, unclasping it and tossing it aside as well. Although my nipples were already erect he took his time teasing them with his tongue and fingers, sending shivers down my spine and making my stomach flip over in pleasure.

"Doc-Doctor-Oooh…" I panted. He smiled at my response and kept going. I was growing so impatient. I loosed his tie and tore it off in a frenzy, and things began to get more heated. I flipped the Doctor over so I was on top of him and unbuttoned his shirt quickly before ripping the coat, jacket, and shirt off of him in one easy movement. He smiled wickedly at me as he caught sight of my bare torso bouncing up and down as I stripped him down, and he leaned up to kiss my breasts again. His hands found their way beneath my jeans and panties and he unbuttoned my pants quickly before I shimmied out of them. Soon I was completely naked and I found it only fit to clothe him the same way, and I quickly undid his belt and tossed it aside. He kept growling as I took articles of his clothing away from his body, and before I knew it he had me pinned against the bed with his hands on my wrists so I couldn't move. He hungrily kissed my naval before working his way down, kiss by kiss. His ministrations _there_ nearly sent me over the edge the moment his tongue darted out to taste me, and I was practically screaming his name by the time he was done. I was trembling in desire and he wasn't in much better shape. The head of his penis found me and for a moment he seemed almost hesitant so I reached down to give him a squeeze. This made him growl again before he gently entered me and all became utterly blissful. It hurt, but barely, and he started slowly so I could get used to it. Soon we came like one machine, working together to create magic. I was more vocal than he was, and by the time I came I was screaming so loud I was shaking the picture frames on the nightstand. He just moaned and moaned some more, but he came not long after I did and then he rolled off of me. We fell asleep with his arms around me as if he was protecting me from something. Maybe from the pain he knew I would feel when the shock of what just happened wore off.

That was seven days ago. When I woke up the next day he was gone and I went to find him in the control room. He was busy messing with buttons and ignored me as I walked up to him. When I asked him what he was working on he practically jumped out of his skin. Immediately, though, he acted as he always had and reached for my hand before we ran outside for our next adventure. I was relieved that he didn't seem unnerved by our night together, but when the adventures are over and we're back on the TARDIS he has spent every night away from my bed, and every moment he can spare he spends working or reading, and not with me like it used to be.

I think he probably regrets that night. I don't know why it happened, and I want it to happen again. I know to the Doctor it was one fleeting moment of weakness. A mistake. Yet, I love him more each day, and I want so badly for it to mean something more. The fact of the matter is that it did happen. There had to be a reason for it, even if it was just the Doctor was horny after years of abstinence. I cringe at that thought and still I am afraid to bring it up. For the time being I'm just going to act as if it never happened, until the Doctor is ready to say otherwise.

* * *

The TARDIS is humming when I walk into the control room. I have a cup of tea in my hands I want to give to the Doctor, but he is busy punching in random coordinates and I know better than to disturb him. I wait patiently by the yellow cushioned seats to his right and smile as he finishes the coordinate plans with a flourish of his hand and a wild yell of delight. He looks up and his eyes grow wide for a moment when he sees me, as if he wasn't expecting me to be there. It's only for a second though, and he smiles at me and I smile back before I hand him the tea I made him. He takes the cup gingerly, and I can't help but think he is trying to avoid touching my hand accidentally.

"Thank you, Rose Tyler." He says with a mask of a silly grin and I nod in response. As he sips his tea I look at the screen and see the TARDIS is all set to go to Earth, but I can't tell when. I look at the Doctor with my eyes twinkling. I'm hoping my next question distracts him from this awkward moment we're sort of in and I smile with my tongue in between my teeth.

"Doctor?" I coo, my tongue still in place. He nearly chokes on the tea when he looks up and sees my expression and I put my tongue back in my mouth in embarrassment. He plays it cool and swallows the drink hard. His eyebrows furrow and his mouth hangs open as he waits for my question to continue. "Where are we going?" I say. His pondering expression turns into that of excitement and he raises the mug and smiles.

"Just wait and see, Rose, just wait and see." His face has broken out in a huge grin and I wonder if he is trying to figure out how to handle these awkward situations. They're only awkward because we make them awkward, but the moment we move on to topics of traveling it always feels like old times. For that I am grateful. The Doctor leans over and flips a switch and the TARDIS goes into a spin. I latch my hands onto the rim of the control panel as we sha-shay through time and before long the familiar feeling of landing arrives and I get thrown onto my bum. The Doctor and I are both laughing as we stand back up and he notices his tea spilled.

"Aw, my chamomile!" he cries out. I roll my eyes and take his hand.

"We'll clean it later." I say. He looks at me with a small smile and we stay right where we are. For a moment, as we look into each other's eyes, the frustration I've felt toward him melts away and this is a moment I know should be awkward, but for some reason isn't. This makes me smile so wide I fear my lips might rip so I change the subject. "Well, come on, then!" I exclaim and we run toward the door.

It's Earth all right. It's America to be exact. I've only been to America once with the Doctor but that was so far in the future I'm not sure it was even called America anymore. This, however, is clearly America at the height of the roaring 20s. I'm assuming we're in New York by the tall skyscrapers. If we're not there we're in some major urban city. I smile widely as I take it all in – the lights, the music, and the vast amount of people. The Doctor laughs happily and squeezes my hand before leading me down a street.

"New York, 1922!" he calls out. I can't help but beam with pride since I guessed as much.

"Thought so." I say simply. The Doctor looks at me and I shrug with my tongue peeping out of my teeth. "Must be getting good at this." I say. Normally I would give him a wink but I don't want to push my luck, but I second guess that thought when he looks at me adoringly and smiles. I thank God we're on an adventure because it seems to distract him from the fact that the look he just gave me is the sort of thing he's been avoiding for seven days and we walk down the sidewalk with a skip in our step.

I think about his look as he rattles on about some dance group with good high kicks. All it does is make me beyond confused. One moment he's avoiding me completely, the next it feels like we're fine, and the next it feels like there could be something more than just companionship. I shudder at the thought the Doctor might…

No, thinking that will only confuse me more. Maybe he was just proud of me for knowing where we were. Yes, that must be it. I surprised him with my knowledge of 1920's America. Well too bad, Doctor! I read The Great Gatsby! At least Mickey did and told me about it…Still, I know a few things!

The look, though. Why that_** look**_? It was more than just the prideful looks he's given me before. It was more, right? It was…

I'm so wrapped up in my thoughts I don't notice the Doctor has stopped talking. I look up at him and see he is staring at me expectantly, and I feel my heart race because I have no idea what he is waiting for me to reply to.

"Uh…" I stutter out and he laughs.

"Rose?" he says sweetly and gives me a brilliant smile. "Where'd you go, anyway?" he asks. I can't stop the blush from appearing in my cheeks and I bow my head with a sheepish grin.

"Nowhere," I reply. "I was just thinkin' bout The Great Gastby…" It's not a lie. I'm just leaving out some parts. Its fine. Still, I'm not sure the Doctor completely believes me but he shrugs and smiles anyway.

"I was thinking we could go somewhere special, what do you say?" he asks. I nod enthusiastically and he grabs my hand. "Right then! Allons-y!"

Off we go.

Days like these are my favorite with the Doctor. There aren't any aliens, there is no natural disaster we have to avoid, no lives to save. It's just me and him with the whole world at our fingertips and we can go anywhere and do anything. He leads me down Time Square and it looks so different from all the pictures I've seen on post-cards or in movies, but it's still just as dazzling. All the women have hair that comes mid-cheek and sticks to their face like plaster. Some have a small curl at the end, others are pin-straight, but all wear dresses that don't necessarily flatter anyone's figure. I'm in awe of the fashion and the way they all walk. They have a bounce in their step that has been lost since, and they talk at a thousand miles an hour with a very distinct tone in their voice. The whole city feels busy. The cars in the street are either yellow taxis or something black, and horns and curse words get thrown out minutely. My eyes are swarming the whole picture and the Doctor stands next to me, the same chatterbox he always is.

The billboard promoting Coppertone Sunscreen starts to flicker and catches my eye. I try not to think too much of it, but it keeps happening and I nudge the Doctor so he can have a look too.

"That's strange…" he mumbles. "Rose, stand over there." He points to a strip of sidewalk to his left and I do as he says. "What do you see?" he asks.

My heart stops.

"Doctor—" I say urgently. He can sense the tone in my voice and is at my side immediately. Together, our eyes penetrate the billboard, and I can see the Doctor tense beside me.

At the right angle, the dog on the billboard's eyes turn red. At the right angle, it's obvious that Toby, the man from Krop Tor who was possessed by the devil, a man we had presumed to be dead, is watching us.

The Doctor grabs my hand and whisks me toward him.

"Do NOT, by any means, Rose, leave my side." He commands. I give him a surprised look.

"What do you—" I start to ask. He groans.

"That's what you do, and you know I think it's wonderful how much you want to help, but you have to promise me, swear to me, Rose, that you will never be out of my eyeshot." He says. His voice is desperate, and I take his hand to remind him that I am here.

"I won't." I say. As soon as my declaration has been spoken, the lights on every building go out.

Toby laughs. The Doctor grimaces. I tremble.

So much for a relaxing trip.

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A/N: The next chapter will be the Doctor's POV. Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

The Right Decision

Summary: Post-Doomsday. Rose was never sucked into the void and after a magical night with the Doctor she had to figure out how to keep going as if nothing has changed, but does she really have to? Ten/Rose.

Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who.

A/N: This is the chapter in the Doctor's POV. It is actually the same events and time frame as chapter one, just told from his perspective. The story will continue on in the next three chapters! Thanks for reading! If you like what's here, I have a few other Doctor/Rose stories you can read too. Once Upon a Galaxy rewrites the love affair of the Doctor and Rose in the form of a fairytale. The Doctor's Daughter is a first person POV about the Doctor and Rose's reunion 19 years after Canary Wharf told from their daughter's POV. Eternal Nights with You is just a sweet Doctor/Rose story, and The Domestic Approach deals with the way the Doctor and Rose handle life as a domestic couple. Thanks again for reading!

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The Doctor

In nine hundred years I have never known so many emotions as much as I did that day. That day, one week ago, that shattered existence for me and brought me to my knees. The same day that gave me hope. Gave me love. Gave me sanity.

I knew she was special the day I met her. Her smile sends a current through me and penetrates every move I make. She makes me feel like I haven't lived for so long, like all the destruction I have witnessed and been a part of doesn't really mean anything. She comforts me and at the same time she terrifies me because I would do anything for her, and that thought has astronomical significance.

She saved my life when she stood in front of the TARDIS, swimming in gold light and reciting the words of Bad Wolf, and I knew something brought us together. I knew there was nothing I could do but let nature act as it would, forcing us into situations that should kill us, but bringing us back.

At times, I have to restrain myself from pushing her up against the wall and licking her neck the way I lick so many things. At times, she looks at me and the world stops. The universe can be abysmal, but when she is around, it's magnificent. The only fear I had in the entire cosmos was losing her.

That day she landed with a thud. At night, when she thinks I am asleep, the sound of her body hitting the cold cement ground haunts me. In that moment, I had thought she was dead. My fingers detached themselves from the magna-clamp and my weak legs gave out underneath me. It was my fault. Her face held nothing but peace, but it was discontented sort of peace, like she was safe in another place but her body was still showing me remnants of the pain she had held as she passed.

Rose.

I felt my lump in my throat hitch and breathing became impossible. I fell to my knees in a slump and cradled her body to my chest. The victory of the battle was lost as her blonde strands fell about her face and I gently pushed them aside, murmuring words I don't even remember as my eyes flooded with tears.

I hadn't cried in a century. But in that moment, as I held Rose Tyler's lifeless body, all the beauty I had found left in the world was taken from me. I looked down at her face and felt nothing but anguish. I should have known the universe would never be so kind. It would never give me the human race and Rose after Canary Wharf.

Then I sobbed. Loud, uncensored, completely broken and tormented, I held Rose to me and never wanted to let go. She was my constant high, the thrill I always knew would surprise me. She made the TARDIS hum louder than she had in centuries. Usually bouncing and smiling, she was limp in my arms as the fluorescent light above me flickered. I paid no attention to it. All that mattered was Rose. All that mattered was the bitter sting and sharp pang of desperation I had to give her life again, to make her know what she meant to me.

I had dived too deep. I loved her and never let her know, and before I knew it she was gone. Everything I touch dies. Everything. I had told her once that she could spend the rest of my life with me, but I could never spend mine with her. I had almost admitted my feelings to her then, but I didn't let myself think them. I always pushed it back. I always told myself she deserved more, and I always told myself it would be selfish to keep her here with me.

None of that mattered. Rose was dead.

"Rose…" I whispered through my tears. "Oh, God…Rose…" I kept saying over and over to myself. Words built up and I couldn't stop them from vomiting out of my mouth. "I love you, Rose. I love you, don't do this."

It was the first time I said it and she wasn't able to hear it.

My throat tightened. Guilt flooded through me. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

And then it all changed. A glimmer of hope found its way in as I saw Rose's finger twitch. I stared at her in shock, my face puffy and red and glistening with tears. Then her finger moved again.

I pulled out my sonic and scanned her. I don't know why I didn't do it before, but as I read the data it was clear as day. Rose Tyler was very much alive, but in desperate need of medical attention.

"Oh, my Rose, my ROSE!" I shouted in joy, in relief, in comfort .I scooped her up carefully and walked as quickly as I could back to the TARDIS. The only sound I heard was the beat of my own hearts and the slight vibration of life Rose was giving off. It was my push. I had to save her.

The examination table was cold and it gave me a wave of nausea. She had spent enough time on cold surfaces, but I knew time was of the essence and I carefully placed her on the metal table. I checked her pulse and I could tell it was fading.

"C'mon, Rose, stay with me." I begged. I had so many wires in my hands I couldn't even hold them all, and two at a time I hooked Rose up to the monitors, placed an IV in her arm, and fed her with blood. She had many open gashes on her head from the fall and had lost so much, but as her body drank in the supply I had the color began to return to her face. "Rose, you can do this. Please." I whispered. The monitor was beeping incessantly in warnings. She was in bad shape. My face was inches from hers and I leaned down to place a kiss on her forehead. My hand swept the falling strands of hair away again, and the monitor began to even out. I looked up at it in desperation, gripping the sides to make sure my eyes weren't deceiving me.

Rose would be okay.

I looked back at her and let out a sob. Crying, again, it looked like. I hadn't even noticed it. I pulled a chair up to the bed and my hand reached for hers. She was alive. She was here, with me, and she was alive. My head wasn't able to process what had just happened. All I knew was I had Rose Tyler here and she was okay.

I don't know how long I sat there. Eventually I fell asleep, but I was woken by a gentle push on my shoulders and my eyes snapped awake.

There she was; her creamy brown eyes setting their sights on me, a small smile on her face. It was so unreal. A protective feeling washed over me, as did one of great joy. Yet, as I gazed on Rose, I began to feel a wave of something else entirely – a desire to love her like she had never been loved before. I had almost lost her, and that hollow feeling I had felt when I thought I had was enough to make me lose myself. She was everything that mattered. If I had to, I would burn up a sun for her. She smiled the smile that gets me every time, and I was burning in desire. In love. In protection.

"Hi," Rose said weakly. Oh, her voice. Her brilliant, sweet, kind, musical voice wrapped itself around me and held me close to her. I felt the tears fall but I didn't register their significance until Rose reached up and wiped them away. Just her touch made the desire stronger. It was electrifying, filling me with nothing but intense need and relief. And then those thoughts happened.

_I love Rose Tyler._

My face flushed and grew warm in her hand. Embarrassment, hope, desire, joy, relief, they all filled me up. Rose tried to sit up but couldn't because of the wires, and I walked to the monitor to make sure she was alright.

Her vitals were perfect. Health wise, Rose was good as new.

I flashed her a smile and noticed her expression change. Why was she looking at me like that? It caused me to have thoughts I told myself never to think, and I distracted myself by removing all of the wires on her porcelain skin. I felt my hearts beat faster as I pulled, watching the red marks appear where the sensors used to be. I felt guilty again, and as I watched Rose trace the outline of a mark on her upper chest my hand reached out to stop her. I wanted to be the one to kiss those marks away.

"Doctor, are you alright?" she asked me.

No, I was most definitely not alright. I didn't know what to do, my head was still reeling from the fact that Rose was even here. It wasn't that I was bad; it was that I was too overwhelmed in bliss to function properly. And she was so beautiful. My eyes wandered down her body, soaking up all her glory, and I wanted to scream from the gratitude I felt that she was with me. We were together. I had to get her out of the sick bay, though, because it was simply a reminder that this almost wasn't the case.

"Can you walk to your room or do you need me to carry you?" I asked. Rose smiled at me.

"I'm okay, I think, Doctor. Thank you." She said. As she stood, though, I saw her falling onto the cold ground again and I instinctively reached to catch her, not even realizing she was actually falling and needed me. I scooped her up, led her to her room, and placed her on her bed.

She smiled at me, and my concern for her grew. Now that I knew she was alive, I began to feel the guilt. I trapped her here. Yes, I was overjoyed by it, yes I wanted her, but I realized in that moment Rose would never again see her family. For so long she was what kept me going, she was all I had. Now **I** was all **she** had. I sat down on the edge of Rose's bed and gently rubbed small circles on the back of her hand. My eyes traced the raw marks on her skin and reminded me how I almost lost her, but also screamed to me that apart from me, she was all alone. I had to protect her.

"How are you?" I asked. My eyes looked deeply into hers; my hearts sped up their beating and rattled against my ribs. I was waiting for the moment it would dawn on her, the moment Rose would realize she was stuck with me. Selfishly, I wondered how that would make her feel. Would Rose want to stay with me knowing that for the rest of her life I was the only constant face she would see?

I wanted her to know how badly I felt. I knew what it was like to know you will never see your loved ones again, and as I stared into her eyes I saw the realization dawn on her.

"Fine, Doctor!" she replied. It was too happy. My hearts felt like they were being torn in half. Rose always tried to be so strong, she always put me first and for that I knew I didn't deserve her. If I had put Rose first, she'd be with her family. I shouldn't have let her stay when she came back. I should have just sent her home. But, something I have painfully learned in my centuries of life is that I am selfish. And when I saw her standing there after I thought I would never see her again I was too overcome by my own selfish desire to keep her with me to even think about the repercussions. Rose is young, and she may have been okay with never seeing her mother again at the time, but I should have known that after a few months resentment would take place. I should have sent her back. Again, this was my fault.

"Rose…" I whispered. " I'm so sorry."

It hit her then. I watched her cry and I felt my own eyes grow hazy. Carefully I wrapped my arms around her. It was the only thing I could think to do. If she couldn't have her family, I wanted her to know she would have me, as depressing as it may be. I rocked her gently on the bed as she stained my shirt with salty tears, and I cursed myself for doing this to her. Without really thinking I kissed the top of her head over and over again, trying to sooth her and remind her she wasn't completely alone.

Maybe it the fact that I thought I had lost her. Maybe it was seeing her in such a vulnerable state and wanting nothing more than to make her feel better. Maybe it was my own ability for control weakening on me, but whatever the reason was, I gave in to temptation. For so long I had wanted Rose to know me in every way, and for so long I had convinced myself it was impossible. But the kisses started to move toward her lips, and I seemed unable to stop it.

I can't even describe the feelings I have for Rose Tyler. And when she looked at me and hungry eyes met hungry eyes, I was a dead man.

I should have stopped. I should have pulled away and told Rose that this was not how it should happen, that she was upset and what she needed was a friend. I should have been stronger and normally, in any other circumstance that is exactly what I would have done. But this was Rose.

Rose unhinges me. She tests me, tempts me, and completes me. As our lips met for the first time I felt a sense of belonging I hadn't felt since Gallifrey was lost. I wanted more. I wanted to taste her, to feel her, to have her wholly and soundly. My hands roamed over her wonderful curves and dug into her soft skin, leaving my mark on her and forcing me to kiss away the pain. I used my tongue as a guide, following the dips and crevices on her neck like a treasure map, teasing her and at the same time building intensity inside of me.

Her noises were driving me wild. Her hands were doing things I didn't think were possible and she was bringing out a side of me I didn't know existed. She tugged on my hair and I lost the ability to think at all. I don't even remember what happened after that because the only thing on my mind was Rose. Beautiful, incredible, sexy, perfect Rose. And for the moment she was mine.

We lied on the bed together after the feeling of satisfaction took over, and as I massaged her scalp with my fingers I began to feel strange. And then I realized that Rose is the best thing that's ever happened to me, and for a week now I have tip-toeing around 'do I just give in and tell Rose how I feel, or do I act like it never happened.'

I know Rose probably feels the same way about me, and that gives me a strange feeling. In truth, I don't know how to handle the fact that I am completely in love with her because I know what losing her would do to me if we were to take things a step further. It was unbearable when we weren't together, I couldn't imagine what it would be like if…well…

I guess I really am that selfish. I've been pretending like nothing is wrong because I'm afraid if Rose notices I'll tell her my feelings. I'm sitting in the control room rummaging with a bunch of buttons, not even sure what I'm punching into the system when I hear Rose enter. I always know she's there because my hearts start to beat faster, and now that I know she's watching me I put on a little show for her. The Old Team needs to feel like the Old Team, because I'm all she's got. That's another reason I don't want to tell her. Apart from my fear of what life will be like when she's gone, I don't want to give her love and then have something happen where it's taken away. She would lose it all then. After I flourish my hand, my attempt to seem totally okay, I look at her. She is more stunning than I remember, and I had only been away from her for a few minutes. She has two cups of tea in her hands, and my stomach does a somersault when she hands one to me. Once again, she always puts me first, and here I am moping around for a week because I'm too cowardly to just tell Rose I love her. I'm an idiot.

"Thank you, Rose Tyler." I say, hiding my insecurity. I take the cup carefully because I am afraid to spill it on her, and then she smiles at me. She says my name and when I see her tongue peeking out of her mouth my pants feel tighter and I choke on my tea.

Damn it, Rose. So beautiful.

"Where are we going?" she asks carefully. I curse myself for slipping up and showing her my reaction to her, but I hide it immediately.

"Just wait and see, Rose, just wait and see."

* * *

"New York, 1922!" I announce. It's bustling with people, and I feel a sense of pride when I see Rose's eyes grow wide. I took her here because I know how much she enjoys going back in time, to historical events and eras where she can live in a different world. After the last week of awkward silences between us and the loss of her family, she deserves some fun.

"Thought so." She says simply, and I stare at her. She thought so? My mind is swimming in awe when she flashes me a grin. "Must be getting good at this." She says. Oh, Rose. She is full of surprises and I can't help but be fascinated by her. I smile and her and she watches my mouth carefully, which I choose to ignore. I try to describe things to her but she is clearly somewhere else, not even listening to me, and when I ask her what's wrong she tells me she was thinking about The Great Gatsby. I don't think Rose has even read it, but I ignore and we continue on.

We're standing under the clock in Times Square, looking up at the tall skyscrapers and silently comparing New New Earth to everything we see. Rose gets my attention after a while and points at a billboard above us. Coppertone Sunscreen. I was always partial to the little dog. I notice the billboard is flashing though, and I can tell it isn't good.

"That's strange." I say. "Rose, stand over there." I point to the sidewalk and she moves.

"Doctor—" she says to me, and her voice sounds incredible urgent. I rush to her, and together we look up at the billboard.

Toby.

Krop Tor.

Rose.

I have to save Rose.

The last we saw Toby he was possessed by the devil. Clearly, he still is, and clearly he is watching us. My arms reach for Rose, and tension begins to build inside of me. I can't stand the idea of him getting his hands on her, not again. She was the one who saved us from him the last time, and if I could hazard a guess, I'd say he's back with a vengeance. Against her.

"Do NOT, by any means Rose, leave my side." I command. I feel protective again, and I want to whisk back to the TARDIS so Rose will be safe. I want to kiss her, stop her from feeling any pain, and she stares at me.

"Wha—"

"That's what you do, and you know I think it's wonderful how much you want to help, but you have to promise me, swear to me, Rose, that you will never be out of my eyeshot." I'm desperate to keep her with me. I can't, I won't lose her again. I may be overreacting, but I can't chance it.

"I won't." she says.

Then the lights go out and I hear him laugh. It reverberates around us and feels like a bucket of cold water, and when I feel Rose tense next to me I do too.

If he wants her, he'll have to go through me.

Come at me, devil boy.

* * *

A/N: Thank you all for reading!


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